What is Future Faking?

Have you ever been in a relationship — personal or professional — where someone made big promises about your future together but never delivered?

Maybe they promised you a dream vacation, hinted at wedding plans, or guaranteed a big promotion at work. You invested mentally, emotionally, physically, and even financially, only to realize they never intended to fulfill those promises.

What exactly is future faking? It’s a manipulative strategy where one person makes inflated promises to keep the other person interested, with no intention of following through.

Future faking can be extremely harmful, especially to women, as it fosters false hope and emotional dependency. For this reason, it’s crucial to recognize the warning signs, understand the psychological impact, and learn how to avoid these relationships.

Signs of Future Faking

It’s natural to feel excited about the potential of a new relationship — whether it’s with a business associate, friend, or romantic partner. The possibilities seem endless.

You might find yourself discussing mutual hopes, dreams, or goals, and these shared plans create a sense of happiness and connection. But what happens when those plans never come to fruition? What if the other person promises you everything yet takes no real action?

Experts caution that this could be a sign of future faking. As Women.com notes, anyone can talk about a perfect future, but not everyone has the desire or ability to make it a reality. Here are some signs to watch for in someone who might be future faking:

• They make vague plans with no clear timelines or commitments.
• Their actions don’t align with their words.
• They shy away from practical discussions about the future.
• They deflect or minimize serious conversations about the relationship.
• They use emotional manipulation to control or sway you.
• They exploit your desires to push you into doing things you might not otherwise do.
• They resist when you ask to slow down or take a step back.
• They try to isolate you from your support system.

Future faking is a common tactic among those with narcissistic tendencies. But why do narcissists future fake? According to Verywell Mind, it’s a way to get something from you in the present.

They fabricate a deep emotional connection or strong interest to draw you in and maintain your involvement, all while satisfying their own needs. Those needs may be emotional, psychological, or practical. Regardless, these manipulations come at a steep cost to the victim.

Impact of Future Faking

Future faking creates a repeated cycle of hope followed by disappointment. As time goes on, this destructive pattern erodes trust and fosters feelings of betrayal, confusion, and diminished self-esteem. Here are some of the negative effects of future faking:

Insecurity

Inconsistency between the future faker’s words and actions leads to uncertainty, making you question their true intentions. This not only challenges your confidence in the relationship but also your ability to judge their motives.

Lowered Self-Esteem

Repeated letdowns from broken promises can cause you to doubt your worth. Feeling unimportant, unvalued, or deceived lowers your self-esteem and leaves you questioning your ability to sustain an authentic relationship.

Anxiety

The unpredictable nature of the relationship keeps you on an emotional roller coaster, resulting in significant stress and anxiety. You may find yourself constantly worried about the future, unsure of where the relationship is headed.

Emotional Dependency

You may become emotionally dependent on the future faker’s promises, believing that your future happiness or success rests on their commitment. This false dependency undermines your emotional independence and self-reliance.

Trust Issues

Trust is essential to any relationship, and future faking damages that trust. Repeated experiences of future faking affect your capacity to trust in future relationships, as you fear being manipulated once again.

Fortunately, you can protect yourself from individuals who future fake by setting safeguards, recognizing the traits of a healthy relationship, and developing strategies for building genuine connections.

Breaking the Cycle

Healing from future faking is possible, and you can experience relationships founded on mutual trust, respect, and authentic connection.

If you suspect your partner is future faking, Verywell Mind suggests respecting your boundaries. Clearly communicate your needs and avoid situations or behaviors that undermine them.

Also, pay attention to how you feel when you’re around that person. Do you often feel stressed, anxious, suspicious, or worried? Trust your instincts and listen to what your body is telling you.

It’s equally important to understand what a healthy relationship looks like. Learn to recognize the signs of narcissistic abuse and familiarize yourself with the characteristics of thriving relationships.

Healthline highlights key elements of a healthy relationship, such as supporting individuality, respecting personal space, fostering spontaneous fun, maintaining trust, encouraging open communication, and resolving conflicts productively.

Based on these principles, here are some practical tips for building a strong partnership:

• Appreciate and accept each other’s unique qualities
• Tackle challenges together as a united front
• Explore new hobbies or experiences as a couple
• Share and discuss your individual goals and dreams
• Set realistic goals and expectations together
• Practice mutual respect and trust
• Keep an open mind about each other’s perspectives and approach to life

Sometimes, healing from future faking is necessary before we can step into a healthy relationship. Seeking support can be a crucial part of your journey, helping you heal, grow, and prepare for healthier future connections.

Find Healing at Willow House at The Meadows

If you’re seeking help to heal from future faking or other forms of emotional manipulation, consider reaching out to our caring team at Willow House. We offer a variety of therapeutic resources for women struggling with intimacy disorders, emotional trauma, and co-occurring disorders. Our holistic treatment approach fosters emotional healing and personal growth by addressing not only the immediate issues but also the underlying causes that contribute to them.

Contact us today to break free from the cycle of future faking and begin your journey toward healthier, more fulfilling relationships.